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Posts by Mandy
I hear this ALL the time and for a long time I thought willpower had to do with wanting it “bad enough” or that it isn’t “willpower” it’s “want-power”. I still think that there is some truth to these statements because I find when I truly look at the days I choose to eat cookies instead of celery and peanut butter or carrots and hummus that I must not want 6 pack abs more than the cookies.
However, I just finished reading a really interesting book called “Willpower: Why Self-Control is the Secret to Success” by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney and learned a lot of different thoughts about willpower and self control.
The first thing that is most important to know is that
- Willpower truly does become depleted. We have a finite amount of it.
- You use the same stock of willpower for ALL daily tasks
- Your body uses energy in the form of glucose for self control.
What does all of this mean?
You probably don’t have a lack of willpower – you may be exhausted from using up all your willpower throughout the day!
We use self control and willpower constantly just look at a typical day and how much self control and will power you might use DAILY
~ You force yourself out of your warm bed to do your workout when you would rather sleep in
~ You bite your tongue when your kids are throwing a tantrum about getting dressed for school
~ You put up with traffic on the way to work
~ You deal with the customer in front of you at Starbucks who can’t decide what 10 ingredient drink she wants to order and then wait as the barista says “just a second” and is gone for what seems like 10 minutes.
~ You try to remain focused at the a super boring work meeting
~ You get stuck on hold with while you are sitting at your desk feeling like you have to pee
~ You want to eat a burger and fries for lunch but instead order the salad with chicken
~ You listen to your coworker who always complains about her weight yet won’t stop brining in cookies for the office
~ You hear the horrible news and try to “stay strong” while at work, forcing you to hide your emotions.
~ You try to get some Christmas shopping done but can’t decide what to get your sister.
~ You come home to find the dog got into the pantry, again!
~ And finally, your in-laws call to say that they are coming last minute to see you for the holidays.
By the time the day is done how can you seriously control one more thing in your life?
That is when you open the freezer to defrost tomorrows chicken and Ben and Jerry practically jump out and wrestle you to the floor spoon feeding you Chunky Monkey.
Each one of these seemingly unrelated items depletes your willpower throughout the day. By the end of the day you are drained. Your body needs to replenish its store.
How do you replenish willpower?
I’ll keep it brief for now and get into some more details next week as there was SO much that was so interesting to cover.
1. Proper Nutrition is KEY – you must continue to give your body and your mind the fuel it needs. The best choices for this are foods that release energy slower into the blood stream.
2. Sleep is CRUCIAL – A well rested body will help you to make the decisions .
I have more tips on increasing your willpower which you can find part 2 here and part 3 here
I feel like I’m on an episode of “What Would You Do?” here is the dilemma I am facing…
Imagine many of your dear friends are involved in an amazing group of women empowering women, where they meet once a week via a conference call for support, guidance and advice to help them gain the strength to accomplish whatever it is their heart desires: to leave a negative relationship, to start a business, to start a charity, to travel, to go back to school, etc.
In order to get into this group you need to give, not invest, a set amount of money from $100-$5000 to the woman in the group who has moved into the spot where she is the gift receiver. Your gift now entitles you to be apart of this private and secret group and NOW you are able to, and are HIGHLY encouraged to invite other positive, motivating, inspiring, spiritual, women to join. As other women join this group you will move into the spot where YOU will receive the gift of $800-$40,000 – or 8x what your original “gift” was. Although you are not “required” to bring in another person you will not move into the receiving spot unless you have brought in someone else.
I’ve been approached 8 times now by women asking me “have you heard of gifting circles?” or sometimes simple as “have you heard of circle?” or “vision sisters”? Of those 8 times I heard the entire pitch one time.
Part of the pitch, from what I remember, was the following
a) not to talk to men about this (with the exception of my boyfriend/husband)
b) that this is legal because it is a “gift” and not an “investment” and that if I got to the position where I would be gifted (called “dessert” in this one instance) I would not have to claim the $40,000 to the IRS
c) that there is no product to sell
d) that I should decide if it was right for me or not and that if I did research I would see there is bad press online but it’s just a lot of naysayers and they don’t see that this is a paradigm shift in the way things are being done and not to worry because the woman my friend heard about it from has been through this gifting circle multiple times and has been gifted $80,000 in a year and my friend completely trusts her.
e) if I didn’t want to do this that was fine but to please destroy or give back the documents handed to me and to not talk about it with anyone else, that it was a secret and sacred group.
I came home from my meeting with my friend, told my boyfriend what it was about and he immediately saw through it as an illegal pyramid scheme.
“But, but, but…” I stammered as I tried to explain where I could see the GOOD in it to him – “the women empowering women, the community, the connection, the “gifting” – maybe it wasn’t that bad… maybe this really WAS different!?!?!” (and hey – getting “given” $40,000 sure wouldn’t be a BAD thing, right?).
I didn’t join for a few reasons
a) I was already working on my own business and if I added anything else to my plate it would greatly affect the delicate balance my relationship was already in at the time
b) I also had already made the choice to spend $4,000 on taking an online course to become a certified Health Coach. (The cost, err, “gift” for me to join this empowering women group was actually MORE than my health coach certification, which actually connected me to a community of women (and men, but mostly women), who empowered other women (and men) to do amazing things with their lives and to share their gifts and help those around them while learning how to start a legitimate business which would create an income and abundance.
c) Overall, it sounded too good to be true and it sounded like an illegal pyramid scheme wrapped in spiritual new age wording to make it seem different.
That was about 18 months ago that I was first invited to “circle”. Fast forward to today and 7 other inspiring, educated, loving, women have all asked me “have you heard of circle?” Each time I simply say “Yes, I have” and the conversation stops there. And then, each time I head home and I google “women’s gifting circle” and keep reading MORE and MORE stories of women getting deceived by these circles, communities being divided, friendships being hurt, savings accounts being cleared or worse, money being borrowed to be a part of this. Oh, but the “good thing” is there are circles where you only gift $100, $500 or $1,000 – which hurts less when you lose it but allows you to re-gift into a larger circle when you get paid out.
I asked a friend of mine in circle if she was worried about it (specifically the legal part of it) and she said:
“There is a lot of bad press, but the good press can’t really be promoted and you cant really stand up and say too much about it. So it is really a personal choice.”
I asked: “Why can’t the good press be promoted? Seems like if its so good you’d want to shout it from the rooftops.”
Her reply: “Due to the nature of gifting. Because it is such a grey area.”
My question: “So is it a legal gift or not? Doesn’t seem like the IRS has many grey areas.”
She said she was going to review her information on it but ultimately told me she trusted her friend who was in it and had the support of her husband. The conversations stopped shortly after that.
So what do I do NOW? What would you do? I figured I had a few choices.
a) I could continue to smile when the next person asks me “have you heard of circle?” and say “yes” and let the conversation stop there. Keeping their secret under wraps.
b) Stop keeping the secret. Aim to educate the women who might be on the fence about it that these are in fact scams and warn those who might not have heard about it, yet. To EMPOWER women to REALLY do their OWN research on gifting circles- and not just believe what the circle sister is telling them (no matter HOW close of a friend she is).
c) Try to convince people already so far IN it to see the truth/flaws and to encourage them to remove themselves. (this one I realize is one that might not be possible)
d) Report the circles I know about to authorities. (I’m NOT going to do this) However women have been arrested for these circles.
After choosing option A for so long it’s time for me to move to option B. I’m angry at myself for NOT saying something sooner.
Why DIDn’T I say Something sooner?
~Because it might hurt the relationships I have with the women so deep into circle already – women I call my friends, women I admire, women I like, women who DO believe there is a better way, women who have helped me in the past.
~Because it could create a greater divide between those IN circle and those opposed to circle.
~Because I might get a backlash from those still in circle who LOVE it, who believe it is the right thing, who have actually MADE money off of it – “so seeeee it DOES work”. Like soooo many other women I CRAVE community and connection and by posting this I could be ostracizing myself. OR by posting this it could open up discussion on how to build a sustainable community that focuses on connection and NOT on money.
So I weighed my pros and cons, I asked advice of my friends, I asked advice of my accountant (gasp – a MAN and someone who gets paid to know the gifting laws), I Googled and ultimately decided THIS is the right thing for ME to do, to not stay silent about it.
“All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.” – Edmund Burke
Yes, tyranny is a harsh word and I am in no way calling the women in circle tyrants.
Like the women in Circle, I BELIEVE, there HAS to be a BETTER WAY
If you chose to do your OWN research on these circles and still think this is the right thing for you to do will not be able to convince you or stop you. All I am encouraging you to do is to PLEASE do your own research on EVERYTHING and realize the negative affects these circles CAN have on your communities, your friendships and other women. Don’t believe that just because it was written in some “official” Circle document that it is true or sacred. If you are worried about them being legal or not talk to a professional ESPECIALLY if you are told NOT to. I know for a fact they are illegal in Hawaii which is where I live and where they are spreading rather quickly.
I’ve heard the argument that for some women it very well might be the best thing they did (and in this controversial blog post by Alexis Neely – Secret Scam or Saving Grace) because of the leadership skills they have learned, the community, the connection (they are careful to downplay the money portion of it – and say things like “it’s more than the money” or it “isn’t about the money”). Bottom line is it is still a scam, it is still illegal and women WILL get hurt because of this. We are all connected. (Check out the amazing documentary I AM which covers so much on the topic of not only “stuff” but connection)
Gifts, empowering, community, abundance, support, connection, growth, leadership skills – those are ALL awesome, amazing things. I want them and I crave them as well, which is why there is STILL a part of me that wants to see the GOOD in these communities. But I can’t keep quiet about this any longer when I know it is FACT that 88% of women who gift their money will NEVER make it to the receiving spot. And yes, some of my friends ARE receiving money from this currently so they see it “working”, for now.
When I was talking to my accountant about this he told me how one of his clients was involved in a similar group like this. He had gotten paid out $60,000 as the “circle” fell apart the client felt so guilty for having money that clearly came about through a scam. He worked to give back some of the money but he wasn’t able to re-reimburse everyone who got involved under him. He had so much guilt surrounding this money. How would you feel if you knew the money you had was the result of 88% of people losing out, some who truly can’t afford to lose (both financially AND emotionally)? How much do we truly NEED?
So what about the 88% of women who lost their money? Why aren’t they speaking up?
“They knew full well it was a gift they were giving, they knew there wasn’t a guarantee when they joined, she had her emotional blocks for receiving money…” those are the reasons I have heard through online forums and through friends in circle speaking for those who don’t make it to the receiving part.
Also, the women who never make it to the receiving spot might say “but I got so much out of being in the group – the support was worth every dime”, or “I’m ok with not getting the money back” (one of my friends admitted she was lying to herself and to me as she said these words).
OR they might not say anything – after all they DID go into it knowing it was a “gift” even though they had hopes their gift would turn into 8 times what they started with (officially that alone voids it of being a gift: IRS Gifting FAQs and the Gifting Club “Gotcha”)
There is no paper trail – email addresses are set up with hushmail accounts, calls are held using free conference call numbers and members either only use their first names or go by “Love” or “Moon”. If I was out $5000 it would be A LOT of work for me to try to get any of that back, especially if I gave my money in the form of cash or a money order.
I personally would feel embarrassed and ashamed for being so trusting and gullible and probably just write it off as “tuition in the School of Life” and just try to pick up the pieces and move on.
Transparency and INTENTION
In the desire to be as transparent as possible, you may know or have gathered from my site or Facebook page, I AM in a Direct Sales/Network Marketing company. I think this hit home because so often I hear from people “I don’t do Pyramid Schemes” or they say “is that one of those pyramid things?” and the answer is NO. Here is a little article on that. There ARE some flaws to Direct Selling/Network Marketing but they are NOT the same as these illegal pyramid schemes. I also get that our economy is flawed. This isn’t an post about that, and believe me, this brings up many questions I have about how I run my business to make sure it is ethical.
My intention is to simply help to educate women who may feel it in their gut that something isn’t right, but who want to TRUST and BELIEVE their dear friend who is inviting them to this secret group. I’m willing to bet that your friend who invited you is NOT trying to scam or dupe you, that she DOES love you and wants the best for you. But what I HAVE learned is intention and action are two different things. Women WILL get scammed and duped by the actions of those involved in gifting circles no matter HOW PURE their intentions. The ACTIONS are what will be looked at, NOT the intentions. Also, money changes people. Makes us do and say things in a different way, not always positive.
MY WISH FOR YOU
Beautiful, smart friend – I wish you peace, I wish you connection, I wish you community, I wish you abundance, I wish you empowerment, I wish you love. They are all the things I want as well, we are not that different.
Here are ooooodles of links for you to do some of your own research on circles – I just put them together in one easy place for you to look through.
This woman spoke the words I wish I could have said as well as she did.
This Washington State Gov document has a diagram that REALLY helps me to understand the math -
Willful Blindness – we believe what we want to believe
If you are IN a circle and want support to get out: How to Gracefully Leave a Gifting Circle
Thank you for reading.
Before you jump into this week’s post you might want to check out last week on Emotional Eating.
This week I wanted to chat with you about some tips to help you begin to combat emotional eating. (And I say “begin”, because this will take practice and of course reading one blog post isn’t going to solve all the problems now is it?)
I gave you a sneak peak at this tip last week. I’ll give you an example from one of the women in a recent challenge group. Here was the situation, Eileen* (not really her name, but really her story) shared experiences of how she would “zone out” while eating. She would get into a zone where she just ate and ate and next thing she knew the entire pot of pasta was gone. I asked her a few questions to help her become more aware of when and why she might be doing this. When I asked her “when was the first time you remember doing this” she shared that it was back in High School – you know, when cliques start to form and girls can be downright nasty (especially since Eileen already struggled with her weight). She remembered eating and zoning out when she did because it was a way to combat the pain of loneliness and not being accepted. She shared with the group that she had never understood why she did this until I had asked her a few questions. She realized that she never “zoned out” while with people and friends.
Eileen became aware that it wasn’t that she needed to go on a diet or restrict eating certain foods – she actually needed to cultivate meaningful relationships with friends.
How can you become more AWARE of your tendencies towards emotional eating?
What are the circumstances that have come before to lead you to make the choice to turn to food.
Yesterday on my Facebook page I asked a simple question: “True or False? Food can be good or bad.”
Let’s just say I have some pretty smart Facebook friends! Most of them agreed that food is food – and it’s us humans assigning a moral value to it.
Yes, it was kind of trick question – because some might argue that food can be “good for you”, “food can go bad” or “food can taste good” but that wasn’t what I asked – I asked can food BE good or bad. And the answer is, it can’t. Food is an object. It’s like asking if a door can be good or bad. Or a blade of grass.
Somehow we have decided to add morality to our food, and when we do this it can often transfer over to us as humans. We assign this value to foods – a “good” food or a “bad” food and then we think we are “good” or “bad” based on the choices we make. It’s just not true. What you chose to eat does not make you “good” or “bad”.
You are not “good” person for eating a salad for lunch. And you are not “bad” for eating cookies for breakfast.
Remove this moral issue placed on food and accept it for what it is. Food: Material, usually of plant or animal origin, that contains or consists of essential body nutrients, such as carbohydrates, fats, proteins, vitamins, or minerals, and is ingested and assimilated by an organism to produce energy, stimulate growth, and maintain life.
What if you were told that you could eat whatever fod you want, whenever you want and however much of it you want?
Guess what – You CAN. You’re an adult right? So long as you aren’t stealing the food (because stealing IS a moral issue, eating is not) you actually have the right to chose 100% what you put into your gob. What do you think would happen if you actually DID eat whatever food you wanted?
Would you find yourself eating doughnuts everyday for breakfast? Would you eat a large pizza for lunch and wash it down with Diet Coke? Maybe. But I doubt you would do that day after day after day. After a while eating like that you’d probably start to feel like crap.
Plus I believe deep down inside we all crave HEALTH (not just being skinny/thin/fit but HEALTHY) and we all know that eating the above meal plan is not a recipe for health.
You know the saying the only things certain in life are death and taxes? I’ve always wanted to add on one more – we must accept the consequences of our choices.
What if gave yourself permission to eat whatever you wanted? Unless it was deadly poisonous the only thing we would have to do is to accept the consequences of our choice. So lets look at eating doughnuts and pizza – what would be the consequences of those two meals? Probably feeling sluggish, overfed, major sugar crash mid morning, indigestion, heartburn. And eating like that day after day then you’d probably see a few other problems, including (but definitely not limited to) weight gain. If you are happy to accept those consequences then by all means – enjoy the doughnuts and pizza. You’re a human adult and have earned the right to eat exactly how you like to eat.
What if you removed the guilt, shame, embarrassment and unworthiness that went along with the foods we deny ourselves? Would they be as appealing? Ever notice how as soon as we say we “can’t have something” we want that sooo much more? So stop denying yourself – give yourself permission to eat what you want, when you want, and as much of it – just be willing to accept the consequences and more importantly… pay attention which brings me to…
Listen to your Body
So you took my advice and ate EXACTLY what you wanted. How did it feel? Did you go overboard? Do you feel like crap? How long do you think you would ACTUALLY eat doughnuts and pizza If so that is actually your body (not anyone else) telling you “hey, easy on the doughnuts and pizza!” Your body KNOWS what is good for it and what is not good for it. (For some of you with a gluten or lactose intolerance that pizza might have left you running for the bathroom or in a brain fog for the next 5 days)
Listening to your body takes practice. We aren’t really taught that growing up, are we? Instead we’re taught love=chocolate on Valentine’s Day and to “clean your plate or you don’t get dessert” or “had a bad day? I’ll make your favorite for dinner – mac and cheese!” and “good job on getting an A in math – let’s go for ice cream!” It’s no wonder when we use food as a replacement for love, rewards and a comfort later on in life. It’s not always bad – I’m not saying it is. Some great memories can come from enjoying ice cream after a game with your kids. I’m just saying we can benefit from recognizing when we are using food to replace a desired feeling – acceptance, love, support, comfort and when we are using food to savor the taste and to ENHANCE the experience, not replace a missing piece.
I love to ask questions – of myself and others. Here are a few questions you might want to contemplate this week to keep you on track when dealing with emotional eating
- How do you want to feel? Will food help you to feel that way? Be honest.
- If food wont help you to HONESTLY feel the way you want to feel, what will? Remember, food might appear to help you combat your emotions but that feeling is typically temporary and leaves us feeling worse later on. (Lonely? Call a friend. Feeling unloved? Write down what you are grateful for in your life. Scared? Ask what’s the worst that can happen. Stressed? Exercise, yell, journal, say ‘no’. Sad? Ask for a hug. Look at pictures that bring back memories of happier times. When I am feeling down I love to call a friend and simply say “tell me something good in your life” – it always brings me up to know my friends are happy)
- How do you feel when you eat not based on wanting to savor the taste or feed your body?
- How do you feel when you eat too much? Is that they way you want to feel?
- How do you feel when you deny yourself food? Is that they way you want to feel?
Have you overcome eating emotionally? I’d love to hear what worked for you. Did any of this resonate with you?
Don’t forget to check out this month’s specials! Have a great week! Feel free to reach out if I can help in any way.
I never thought of myself as an emotional eater until I did my first Shakeology Three Day Cleanse. I never noticed just how often I got up through the day and found myself in the kitchen staring into the fridge or pantry seeing if magically there was something yummy to eat that I missed the previous 3 times I had been to the fridge already that day.
I quickly realized I ate when I was bored or when I was wanting to procrastinate getting something done.
It was a huge eye opener for me and I wanted to take some time to share with you a few other things I have learned about emotional eating since realizing “emotional” didn’t just mean sad, lonely or mad.
Here are the most common emotions or feelings people experience and then turn to food. Do you recognize any of these?
- watching TV and not really interested in it so mindlessly snack
- when you should be working on a project but decide to have a snack before starting – classic example of procrastination.
- not fulfilled at work and stopping by the break room helps the day to go by faster
- bored by a long commute home and hit the drive through for a milkshake to help the time pass
- Trying to get the kids ready for school and not having time for yourself leading to hitting the drive through on the way to work (which realistically probably took longer than actually making breakfast would have)
- Your friend is late (again) which wrecks the plans you had for the evening
- Had a rough day at work, kids are crazy and bills are piling up – food is the only thing that isn’t talking back to you.
- Feeling a lack of connection to true friends or family – food is comforting, it never lets you down.
- Missing a loved one – maybe you always shared ice cream sundaes and after they passed having one on your own helps the pain go away for a bit.
- Food never judges, it never complains, it’s always there – it fills the void you are missing.
- When you felt down did your mom help to cheer you up by making your favorite meal – macaroni and cheese? Do you find that you turn to mac and cheese when you are feeling sad as an adult?
- Feeling alone, even if you are in a relationship – maybe the spark is gone – you just want to feel loved, sexy and desired. Did you husband bring you chocolate when you were dating? hmm… that chocolate bar sure does look good…
- It’s what’s-his-name’s birthday from the sales department and everyone is having cake in the break room so you think “might as well, don’t want to be a stick in the mud.”
- “I worked out today so I ‘deserve’ to eat this”
- It’s free food or a buffet – what a deal! I better get my monies worth!
- Your co-worker got a new job and promotion and everyone is going out to celebrate.
- It’s what’s-his-name’s birthday from the sales department and everyone is having cake in the break room so you think “might as well, don’t want to be a stick in the mud.”
Do any of these sound familiar? You’re not alone. I often share in my challenge groups that food serves two purposes:
- To fuel our body
- To appreciate the flavors
When we are eating emotionally we aren’t always respecting these purposes. It’s important to be able to manage our emotions when it comes to food and to have systems in place to help combat emotional eating. Next week I’ll be covering a few of those systems but I’ll leave you with a sneak peak at the very first one.
Simply being completely aware and asking yourself a few questions before turning to food will help you take the first step to combating emotional eating.
“Am I actually hungry or am I craving a solution or quick fix to a feeling?”
This week I just want you to pay attention to how you are feeling BEFORE you decide to eat. Maybe jot down when you recognize that you are eating because you are stressed, lonely, celebrating or bored. Next week I’ll give you a few more tips to help you combat emotional eating.
I’d love to hear from you, are you an emotional eater? Have you overcome this or do you still struggle. What emotion is the toughest one to handle?
In my upcoming Challenge Groups we’ll be talking a bit more about emotional eating and helping you to find ways to overcome this. I’d love to have you in the next group, message me or comment and I’ll get in touch with details.
Don’t forget to check out this month’s specials!
I hope you had a fantastic Labor Day! I had a great day spending time with my active, healthy friends. It’s great having friends with similar goals and values when it comes to health and fitness.
Have you ever heard the saying – you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with? It’s so true! As I looked around at the people I was hanging out with it was mostly health conscious active people, which of course makes it soooo much easier to stay active and health conscious!
Well that’s great – but what if NONE of your friends are active and health conscious? I would recommend checking out sites like MeetUp.com which have activities all over – from volleyball, to hiking to bike rides and everything in between.
Reach out to your Facebook friends – even just having someone on the path to health and fitness WITH you can help keep you on track. You can even start a group of your own, like N.E.A.T to help hold people accountable.
Another thing I did this weekend was to volunteer at one of the aide stations for the Kauai Marathon. (I know, you’re probably thinking “why didn’t you just run it??” I actually really don’t like running so it was great to help out on the other side.) It was great to meet some of the runners and other volunteers out for the day.
Being around people who share the same values when it comes to health and fitness will help you to reach your goals much faster. This doesn’t mean that you need to stop hanging out with the friends you have currently – you might just find that you have MORE friends and more support! YAY! Friends!
I’d love to hear from you! Where do you meet your health minded friends? Have your relationships changed since you started on this journey? Have you made some new friends along the way?
Also – have you started a group of your own? If so I have a little present for you. If you have started a group on your own let me know – I have a little gift I would like to send to you. Reply back to the email or leave a comment. I have a limited supply so reply back ASAP!!
Don’t forget to check out this months specials!
Make it a great week – and let me know if there is anything I can help YOU with.
Have you ever ignored or missed one of these signs?
You’re cruising down a beautiful unfamiliar neighborhood and miss the sign and next thing you know you hit a speed bump a little too fast. Your car might bounce a bit – you’re a bit startled and thankful you finished your tea otherwise it would be all over the roof right now. I know I have hit a bump a bit too hard. Does it kind of feel like the month of August was a bit of big ‘ol bump to any one else??
Maybe it was the blue moon or the weather and the season coming to an end. Whatever it was I felt knocked off my game. I had friends come and visit which meant a change in routine for workouts and eating out a lot more than normal. I worked hard during May, June and July and felt exhausted. Then I tweaked my back and couldn’t do much of anything besides walking, light yoga or an easy bike riding for a full week. Ugg!! Where were my signs?
I know I am not alone, I have received a bunch of emails this week about others, just like you, who have slipped up a bit this month. I like to think positive and wanted to figure out what could be GOOD about slipping off the wagon or hitting a few speed bumps along the way. There has to be some sort of silver lining, right? And I think there is.
First of all, falling off the wagon does not mean that you failed. Got it? You started at least once, right? Maybe you started two, three, four, or even fifty times. Each time you did you felt better, you probably even saw some results. You might have found a new way to prepare broccoli that even your kids love, tried a new workout and maybe even had some fun. I don’t see failure in that, do you? Every time you started or restarted you kicked failure in the pants.
Here is what I know is true for me – maybe you can relate
1. The initial euphoria of everything fades. You might feel amazing for the first 1-3 days of a new workout but then by day 4, 5 and into week two that initial euphoria fades a bit. That’s NORMAL! Think about a long term relationship – do you get butterflies every single time your partner walks in the room? After 5 1/2 years I know I don’t, but I know the love is still there, even through the hard times. I don’t always get a crazy high after every one of my workouts – some are just average, some are AWESOME. Long term commitment doesn’t always mean rainbows and butterflies – it means putting in the work even on the tough days.
2. I don’t always workout or eat clean because I feel like it. I workout and eat clean because of how it makes me feel. I’d be lying if I told you there weren’t days I really don’t want to do my workout and days I wish that chocolate chip cookies were a good breakfast option. (Ok, most days I wish cookies were a good breakfast option)
And here is what I think the silver lining in falling off the wagon really is.
3. When I fall off the wagon I learn about myself and my tendencies. When I fall off the wagon as I get back on track I ask myself “What happened to bump me off course?” By asking that simple question I am able to see patterns in my life to help me deal with the bumps BEFORE they come AND to set up a plan of action to get over the bumps as smoothly and as quickly as possible. I do this in every aspect of my life – not just my health and fitness.
Do you see a pattern that every time you have family or friends come to visit you fall off the wagon with workouts and nutrition? From now on you might plan their visits differently, maybe include a hike or invite them to try one of your workouts with you.
Do you make poor choices on food when you get really hungry? I know how easy that is! Planning ahead and having an quick healthy option on hand will help you to avoid making poor choices. (I pretty much never leave home with out a water bottle and snacks – a piece of fruit, nuts, a boiled egg, Shakeology, etc) Knowing and recognizing both your habits and the circumstances that affected your choice to skip your workout or eat unhealthy food if your way of creating your own “Bumps Ahead”, “Proceed with Caution”, or maybe it’s even a “Detour” sign until you can get back on track.
Are you on or off the wagon right now? We all hit bumps in the road, here are my recommendations the next time you hit bumps on your road:
- Remember how good you felt when you were ON the wagon.
- Set a time to start again, the sooner the better.
- Know you are worth it.
- Start paying attention to the things that throw you off course, pay attention to the warning signs and proceed with caution so you can cruise over a speed bump instead of getting knocked completely off the wagon.
I’d love to hear from you! In the comments let me know what you learned the last time you fell off the wagon and how you got back on.
Don’t forget to check out this months specials!
With the upcoming release of P90X-3 there is a special offer on both P90X AND P90X-2 Challenge Packs for the month of October.
To purchase each item separately you would be looking at spending over $260. Grab a Challenge Pack for only $180 (normally $205) and save over $80. Challenge Packs are already such a great deal – even better when it is on sale!