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Posts by Mandy
What do you do when you don’t make your goals?
This month I set a goal to do 20 blog posts in 28 days. Easy enough right?
Oh, AND I was also going to successfully run 3 challenge groups, a push group for my coaches, workout 6 days a week, play everyday, read two books, get another client for my 6 month health coaching program, keep up with my studies, reach my minimum goals in my Beachbody business, AND not drive my boyfriend crazy <<that’s an ongoing one!
Hmm… looks like I found myself at the “Life Buffet” and loaded up my plate a bit more than my heart, mind and soul could handle it, no doggy bags allowed either, I had to leave something on the plate, I was FULL.
I was so frustrated with myself in the beginning because I KNEW I had to let something go. In my eyes I failed. I said I was going to do something and I didn’t. Uggg.. I HATE that!
Here is what I had to ask myself
- Is your goal S.M.A.R.T? (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely)
- Did you try your hardest?
- How important is it to you to complete this goal?
- What needs to “give?”
Breaking it down
1. Looking back on my goal to have 20 blog posts in 28 days wasn’t exactly “SMART”. Realistically I barely eek out 20 posts in 6 months – much less ONE.
I needed to RE-EVALUATE the terms of my goal and make it fit MY life. I quickly accepted the fact that I was NOT going to post 20 posts in 28 days and “settled” for posting at least one time a week – that is something I can actually continue doing.
2. Did I try my hardest. Honestly, no. For this particular goal I didn’t. So I have no one to blame but myself. The truth is, if I REALLY wanted to do this I would have.
3. Clearly 20 posts in 28 days wasn’t as important to me as other goals I had. If it was I would have achieved it or at least answered #2 with a definite YES.
4. In order for me to accomplish this specific goal something would have needed to give to make space for it. Instead I left this particular one on the plate and I had to be ok with that. I had to recognize that I didn’t actually fail, I just didn’t make enough space for my goal to be achieved getting started.
One final tip, when making goals make sure they are something YOU can control.
You don’t always get to control how much the scale moves, but you DO get to control how much YOU move, you get to control what you put in your mouth. So focus on the things you can control. That way, even if you don’t get to the number on the scale you will know in your heart of hearts you
1. Set a goal that was SMART
2. That you gave your absolute BEST
3. That you knew WHY this goal was so important to you, maybe it wasn’t as important as you thought it was. What you chose to do each day shows you what is the most important to you.
4. You created SPACE to achieve the goal.
And of course, if at first you don’t succeed, keep going until you do! You CAN achieve anything you set your mind to!
What are you so worried about?
Are you really good at stressing yourself out over things that haven’t happened?
What about worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, and might not even happen?
I have been practicing a little trick that I have found helpful to help me work through times where I get into a cycle of worry, fear and doubt.
Here’s an example. I worry about money. I stress out about not having “enough”. I stress and play the “what if ” game over and over . I was asked a GREAT question the other day that practically made me laugh in the face of my fears and worries.
I was all stressed out and freaked out about money and the question arose
“What’s the worst that can happen?”
In a heartbeat a flash of a bridge came into my mind. I was fully honest with myself when I saw the image of me living under a bridge and stated that out loud. The WORST that would happen is that I would end up living under a bridge and as I said this I knew in my heart of hearts that I am NOT going to EVER live under a bridge.
I was able to take this fear of mine and say:
“I see you fear, but here’s the thing, that’s not going to happen to me. Realistically I am stronger, smarter and able enough to not let that happen. And worst case scenario, IF that were to happen I am going to pick the most awesome bridge there is – maybe a nice one over a beautiful river in the country where I have plenty of fresh water and not a lot of traffic noise and be really close to a nice meadow full of flowers.”
Acknowledging what is the WORST that can happen and then realizing that actually isn’t going to happen allowed me to let go of that fear and RELAX, so that I can get on living.
So “What’s the WORST that can happen?” I bet you have a solution for it – you are strong, capable and smart enough to figure out how to manage.
Attitude is everything
Do you see problems as problems or opportunities?
I saw a heard a great quote the other day – “What you GET is what you SEE”.
We have this freedom, this choice EVERY day in our lives to adjust our attitude, to adjust the way we respond to the things that happen in our lives.
We can look at things as road blocks or look at them as detours.
We can look at things that will break us down or things that will make us stronger.
We can look at things as hard and a boring chore or we can look at things that will challenge us and allow us to grow.
The problem really isn’t the problem, it’s your perception of the problem. Change your perception and you change everything.
- Laugh – even if nothing is funny – just laugh
- Ask a friend to “tell you something good that happened today”
- Vitamin D – get out in the sun for 10 minutes
- Pet a dog or cat (do I have to say a “friendly” dog or cat – or is that pretty obvious?)
- Have a good cry
- Hit a punching bag at the gym
- Head to a range – a golf range, a baseball cage or a shooting range.
- Be near water – river, lake, ocean, pond
- Feed the ducks
- Be still
- Watch children playing
- Remember this too shall pass
- Call a friend
- Take a deep breath and count to ten
- Turn the music up loud and dance
- Finger Paint
- Plant something edible – could just be a fresh herb.
- Include adaptogen herbs like Ashwaganda (you can find these in Shakeology)
- Yoga here is on of my favorite 45 min yoga DVDs – Select the Fountain of Youth from the drop down list
- Add some color to your plate with fruits and vegetables – proper nutrition will help with stress
- Say no – a great way to say no from Chalene Johnson “Thanks for thinking of me, let me check my calendar and get back to you”
- You know that big task that you have been putting off – like cleaning out the closet – just do ONE thing to get you closer – like just pick one shelf to go through or set a timer and work for 15 minutes.
- Exercise for 20 minutes – try two Ten Minute Trainer DVDs
- Go for a walk
- Read a book curled up on the couch – a feel good book – like the Happiness Project
- Exchange foot massages with your spouse
- Is money stressing you out? What one thing can you cut back on for this week? Coffee, take out, cable? See #31
- Unsubscribe from emails that don’t serve you – do you really need all of those great “deals” that cause you to spend more money?
- Hire someone to do what you hate doing, especially if you can get them for less than your hourly wage! (I love having someone else come in to clean the house)
- Just DO IT.
- Turn off the news
- Accept the things you cannot change
- Change the things you can
- Know the difference between 36 & 37
- Speak to yourself in a positive voice
- Unplug – turn off the 3G on your phone, no computer after 10pm.
- Enjoy a dinner with your family with no electronic devices or tv on.
- Decrease caffeine intake, you can do this in stages. Ultimately this will help you sleep. When you are rested you can handle stressful situations easier.
- Add more water – a dehydrated body creates cortisol, a stress hormone
- Let it go – so the dishes aren’t done, the bed isn’t made, does it really matter?
- Say YES to life! Read the book Yes Man or watch the movie.
- Recognize your stress triggers and take steps to reduce them from you life. Can’t stand the traffic? Leave earlier, ask to work from home, listen to an audio book while stuck in traffic.
- Feel your feelings. Feelings wont kill you. Dealing with them in unhealthy ways can.
- Take a hot bath with Epsom salts
- Light a candle- lavender is a great scent to help reduce stress
- Safety first change the batteries in your smoke detector (I do it when the clocks change)
- Get enough sleep
- Pause, take a deep breath.
- Sit on a bench and enjoy people watching and smile at strangers. Know that each one of us is dealing with our own internal struggles. You are not alone.
- Commercial tidy up – sneak in chores during the commercial breaks
- Personalize your workspace – photos of family and friends, fresh flowers (ditch the bowl of candy)
- Change your mindset – believe you CAN.
- Talk to yourself like you would your best friend
- Come up with some powerful mantras – “I’ve done this before, I can do it again”
- When stressing about something ask yourself “What’s the worse that can happen?” Then recognize if that actually WILL happen, probably not. Now take a deep breath. What are you worried about?
- Help someone in need.
- Visualize Success! See it in your mind getting through a stressful situation and it will be that much easier to achieve it. Your mind doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined
- Eat that frog! Do the most unpleasant task you have as soon as possible each day to get it done and out of the way – is that exercise for you? Check out Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy
- Understand and LIVE TRUE to your core values. I find I get really stressed when my core values aren’t being met, do you know your core values?
- Wear comfortable shoes and clothes.
- Be thankful that most of our problems are “first world problems”
- Are you stressing over something that HAS happened or MIGHT happen?
- Hang out with positive people – even if it is online in a group of like-minded people all working towards a similar goal – like my regular clean eating and fitness challenge groups! (email me for details!)
- Put your health first. Without it very little matters.
- Eat breakfast daily.
- Pare down – too much “stuff” can stress us out. What are you hanging onto that you don’t need? This is a hilarious take on how much stuff we have.
- Reflect on a recent accomplishment
- Know that mistakes mean that you are trying. Don’t be so hard on yourself
- Start a saving account with direct deposit from your paycheck. It can be $5 a week. Start somewhere.
- Play a board game
- Give a sincere compliment
- If you anticipate being stuck waiting at the doctors or DMV bring a small project – a book to read, a list of phone calls to make, journal to catch up on
- Look at problems as opportunities
- Tell people what you need and want from them. No one is a mind reader. Be clear. “I just need you to listen to me for a bit to let me get some things off my chest” If you don’t want advice from someone tell them. If you do want advice, ask them.
- Stop gossiping at work
- Take your lunch break outside as many days as possible
- Have a “plan B”
- Stop trying to multitask everything – our mind can only process one thought at a time and jumping back and forth will only slow you down.
- If you buy something new, donate something or get rid of something old.
- The past is history, the future is a mystery, today is a gift, that is why it is called the Present. Live in the present.
- Own your life.
- Take responsibility for your actions.
- Think as many positive thoughts in a row as possible.
- Ask for help.
- You don’t need to be perfect. What are you holding off from doing because you think you need to do it perfectly?
- What stands in the way of you and your next “right” action?
- Trust your gut -awesome blog about this here
Well, it sure isn’t helping!
Do you feel like this guy??
Are you sucking down coffee to wake you up each morning and then drinking wine and chocolate at night to help you calm down?
Are you reaching for sugary snacks mid afternoon to combat stress, cravings and that afternoon lull??
Are you stressed, overworked, underpaid, under appreciated, rushed and drained?Are there too many things on your to-do list and it seems like things just keep getting added to it?
Is this affecting your weight or the ability to lose weight?
Actually – it very well can be. And not only your weight but your health in general.
Have you heard of the “stress hormone” cortisol?
Cortisol is a hormone that assists in regulating blood pressure and your body’s ability to use fats, proteins and carbohydrates. It helps with metabolism, releasing insulin for blood sugar maintenance and inflammatory response.
Normal levels of cortisol will help increase energy and metabolism and helps to regulate blood pressure.
Even small increases will help improve memory, reduce sensitivity to pain and help sustain energy.
Cortisol is secreted in higher levels during the body’s fight or flight response and during high levels of stress. This all sounds good, right? I mean if a normal level helps with increased energy and metabolism then wouldn’t that mean more stress = more cortisol = increased energy and metabolism?
High levels of the stress hormone cortisol (which is realeased when you are under stress and pressure) can cause
- Suppressed thyroid function
- Increased blood pressure
- Decreased bone density (high levels of cortisol is a primary cause of osteoporosis)
- Blood sugar imbalances (blood sugar imbalanced = cravings for sweets, salts, fats)
- Lower your immunity
- Lower inflammatory responses
- Slow down the healing process
- Hormone imbalance – the more cortisol the higher the need is for other hormones like thyroid, insulin, estrogen and testosterone
So what’s the solution?
We need to reduce stress in our lives. Of course this is easier said than done!
Next week I have over 70 ways to deal with stress – that don’t include eating junk food!
There is no magic pill to reduce stress but there is an amazing ingredient in Shakeology that
- improves learning, memory, and reaction time
- reduces anxiety and depression without causing drowsiness
- stabilizes blood sugar
- lowers cholesterol
- reduces brain-cell degeneration
- offers anti-inflammatory benefits
Do you know what this amazing herb is? It’s called Ashwaganda. Ashwagandha works as an adaptogen, promoting the body’s ability to maintain homeostasis and resist stress and everything listed above!
Those of you who are already using Shakeology are already getting this amazing herb daily, not to mention over 70 other whole food, healthy ingredients to help you
- lose weight
- gain energy
- lower cholesterol
- reduce cravings
- improve digestion
- just feel better
Still unsure about Shaekology? Grab your bag and try it risk free for 30 days!
If you don’t like it you can return the empty bag for a full refund, no questions asked!
Those who order Shakeology on Home Direct on or before Feb 18th, 2013 will automatically be invited to participate in my upcoming 21 Day Clean Eating Challenge held on Facebook (just add me as a friend!). I’ll provide weekly meal plan options, daily support and tips to help you eat clean for 21 days. Just place your order and make sure we are friends on Facebook!
Keep your eye out for an upcoming blog– I already have over 70 tips to help you deal with stress. I’d love to know what your favorite way to deal with stress is that doesn’t involve junk food, cigarettes or alcohol! Will you help me get to 101 ways to deal with stress? Leave me a comment and I’ll have a little prize for my favorite one!
I am super excited about the 20 blogs in 28 days that Dawn Barclay invited me to for the month of February. I have only “known” Dawn for a couple weeks but already this crazy Scottish lady living in Ireland has helped me to overcome some huge hurdles in my personal life and now through my blogging life!
Here is where it all started.
In April of 2012 I hit a low but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. All I knew was that I just didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel at home. I was crying for no reason. I was unhappy. I managed through it for the most part but then that low came again BIG time this January.
I talked to a few different people, a counselor, a life coach, friends, and what kept coming up was “you need to figure out your core values” or “you need to figure out what you want and WHY”.
I was told to just keep asking myself:“why do I want that? Why is that so important to you? Now ask yourself WHY again.”
It just didn’t click…
I would list “I want to travel”
Why? “To see cool, things, meet people and learn about the world.”
And why is that important to you? “Umm, because I like cool things, I like people and its a great way to learn about the world”
But Why?? “Ugggg!!! Can’t I just go and travel???”
I felt I was going in circles.
These simple questions just didn’t work for me, so I came home to ask Mr. Google –“how do you find your core values?”
Most of the things that came up dealt with finding values related to finding a job or career you love. Well, I already HAVE that! When I found Dawn Barclay’s site and her five page questionnaire with pages of values listed I knew I found a goldmine.
Here is what was so different about her worksheet that worked so well for me:
- The first page was about 15 questions with things like “who inspires you”, “what boundaries are non-negotiable”, “what can’t you live without” or “what makes you upset”
- From there she gave space to list 20 values (using words that came up in the original questions or pick from the list) and then another page to knock those down to 10, 5, and finally three values.
- The last page of the worksheet had 19 more questions to ask about each of your three core values. “What happens when the value isn’t being lived?” “Are you fully living to your core value?” “What can you change so this value is being lived consistently in your life?” and so on.
That last page is where it got REALLY good!
There was something about this worksheet and the questions that really helped me to really understand what exactly was going on since April. Looking back now, with hindsight being 20-20, I’m thinking, “well, duh…of course that was what was happening” I wasn’t being true to my core values.
This little goldmine of a worksheet helped me to put it all into perspective, write it all out in a concise way and ultimately be able to communicate better to my partner why I was so unhappy and what I needed to change.
Go and check it out – she’s an awesome lady and has a TON of free resources on her blog.
Stay tuned, I’ve got some stories coming up on how this truly did help me smooth out some bumps in my relationship.
I mean, I care, but I don’t care. I guess what I am trying to tell you is I am not here to judge you. I’m not here to point fingers or make “shame on you signs” or give you looks of “do you know how many calories are in that?” or “Don’t you read your labels?” No. Jeez, I have better things to do, like make a kale salad… kidding.
I’ve been doing a few free health consultations and realize how nervous people are to share with me what they are eating on a daily basis. Fear of being judged for their choices in breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Listen, I don’t think you are a bad person if you eat six bowls of cereal for breakfast, skip lunch and have a ½ pound steak for dinner washed down with a bottle of wine. I really don’t.
I also don’t think you are necessarily an amazing person if you blend up green smoothies for breakfast, eat a salad everyday for lunch and cook a vegetarian home cooked meal for your and family each night.
What you eat and drink does not determine your worth.
Let me say that again. What you eat and drink does not determine your worth.
I’m here to help guide you.
I’m here to listen.
I am here to ask YOU questions.
I’m here to learn what it is like to be YOU.
I’m here to help you find solutions to your struggles.
I’m here to share what has worked for me and others in your position and to help you determine if that will work for you or not.
Every time we connect I will learn more about you and with that knowledge I’ll be able to help you find something that works for YOU.
So keep talking.
There are no right or wrong answers. There is no good or bad food. There’s not even hard and fast rules that can’t ever be broken!
There is only you, your goals, your struggles, your hopes and dreams and your fears. I’m just here to help you sort it all out and figure out what works best for YOU. Sound good? If so drop me a line, leave me a comment or add me as a friend on Facebook and let’s schedule a free 30- 45 minute consultation. Sound good?
I had seen The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin at the book store a few times and snapped a picture to remember to look it up at the library – in my lifestyle I don’t own too many books – they are heavy to travel with and we don’t have much space for storage where we live. I know, I know, I can always get books on Kindle but I actually like to hold a book. Plus I tend to only read books once – however it would be nice to mark up a book as I read it to make notes of passages that stand out to me. A couple weeks ago I saw it on the shelf at the library and it was perfect timing for me to pour through it.
Gretchen Rubin creates a different resolution each month to explore her own happiness, her own journey of changing her life, without actually “changing her life.” Meaning she didn’t pack up everything she had to go and travel the world or change careers or anything too drastic. She made some simple adjustments to her everyday life.
The last couple months I’ve been really struggling and feeling a general unhappiness. It really hit hardest about the last week of April, 2012 while traveling through Australia. I didn’t know exactly what I was feeling and why I was so emotional. I mean, really, I do have a great life, right? I get to travel, chase summer, do amazingly cool things and don’t “have” to work since my boyfriend earns enough to support this lifestyle. Yet, I found myself in tears on a regular basis, generally frustrated and just not nearly as happy as I “should” be given the circumstances I am in. I won’t get into all of that here and now as I am still processing it all myself and figuring out what I need and want out of my existence here on this wonderful rock. One of the best ways for me to “process” is to read at one of my favorite spots on Kauai.
A few passages stood out to me that I feel are worth jotting down.
~People’s basic psychological needs include the need to feel secure, to feel good at what they do, to be loved, to feel connected to others, and to have strong sense of control.
~It’s easy to make the mistake of thinking that if you have something you love or there’s something you want, you’ll be happier with more.
~A sense of growth is so important to happiness that it’s often preferable to be progressing to the summit rather than be at the summit.
~Knowing what you admire in others is a wonderful mirror into your deepest, as yet unborn self.
I wont list them here but she made a list of her own personal 12 commandments. The most recurring one being “Be Gretchen” which, in my opinion should really be all that is needed, right? Another one is “Be polite and be fair” but if “Be Gretchen” encompasses fairness and politeness, doesn’t that cover it? Anyway… I am inspired to make my own commandments – although I’m not sure I’ll come up with twelve.
I am also inspired by her idea to make 12 resolutions. They weren’t “goals”, as she explained at the end of the book, “You hit a goal, you keep a resolution” this, to me goes hand in hand with the idea of growth and reaching the summit – or that the journey really IS the destination. I like the idea of resolutions vs goals when it comes to health and fitness. Instead of making a goal to reach a certain weight to resolve to exercise daily and eat more leafy greens. That way when you reach your “goal” you still have your resolution to stick to!
The monthly resolutions reminded me of something we learned at the Beachbody Coaches Summit in June, 2012. I had the pleasure of hearing Chalene Johnson, creator of TurfoFire and other workouts speak. She encouraged us to pick something to learn or improve on each month. Instead of trying to do everything all at once, spread it out for the 12 months. This, and the 12 resolutions is something I would like to incorporate – although I have NO idea when, or if I’ll actually start. Resolution #1, stop procrastinating…
The book closed with the Four Splendid Truths Gretchen learned from her project, I won’t write those here – you should read the book to learn them yourself. Or maybe check out her blog, www.happiness-project.com.
Have you read this book? I’d love to hear if you took any of her tips or if you followed your own happiness project. Fill me in!
Crazy busy weekend to finish off my 21 day reset – the last two entries are video blogs
I have officially made it through day one post reset.
The real difference was that I had my mid morning snack and I snacked a bit after dinner.
Here is what I had:
Breakfast: 1/2 papaya, about a cup of grapes, couple strawberries, 3/4 nectarine
Snack – 1 slice Ezekiel bread and thin layer of almond butter – about 2tsp
Lunch – Large bowl of spinach, 1/2 avocado, 1 small red grabefruit, 2T mixed nuts and a dressing of olive oil and lemon. (Recipe from the Forks Over Knives Cookbook
Snack – Leftover seaweed, edamame and carrot salad (SO yum!)
Dinner – Small bunch of kale braised (favorite way to prepare) leftover serving of brown rice and sauteed veggies (coconut and sesame oil – my new favorite)
Snack – blueberries and slice of watermelon (I could seriously eat blueberries till my head falls off!)
We had planned on doing a big hike but Chris’ knee started to bother him and it kept us from that so I didn’t have much exercise today.
I don’t know if it was the elevation change from our drive up the mountain today or the bread but I hit a wall mid afternoon (about 2 hours after eating the bread) I also noticed that I was slightly gassy and bloated. Other than that it was a pretty “normal” day.