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Part 16 – The challenges
Ok, just to be clear, I don’t want this to be a “whoa is me” post. But there are some challenges to the life we have. They aren’t bad challenges to have, they just take some getting used to.
Challenge number 1: What do I contribute?
This was a big one for a while, two years into it I am feeling a bit more comfortable in what I contribute to the relationship/household/etc., since I don’t contribute much financially. I realize that Chris values the fact that I like to cook and I take care of meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, etc.
I remember a friend asking me what I was going to “do” and I used the word “companion” in my explanation and she asked – “is that enough?” I’m still figuring that part out myself. I try to place myself in Chris’ shoes. Let’s say I have enough money to quit working, to travel where I want and to do what I want. Wouldn’t that be more fun WITH someone? When your friends are all mostly married and having babies and have work commitments you can’t just call someone up at 2pm on a Tuesday to see if they want to go for a mountain bike ride. I have to remember this is what he wanted too, he offered this life to me. He wanted someone with which to experience all that is amazing in life. Don’t we all? I enjoy the same activities – hiking, biking, travel, etc. that I enjoy the same things and I make pretty good sandwiches just helped seal the deal.
Challenge number 2: Friends
I had great jobs with social outlets and worked with great people who became close friends of mine. It’s difficult to keep up with everyone, especially when you don’t live in the same city, state or even country as they do. We live in VERY transient places, friends I made last summer were only here for the summer and are now gone. I come and go as well every few months making it very difficult to become really close to people. I was never the type to have a large group of friends always doing something but do miss the ease of making friends through work. Still learning on finding other ways to build strong relationships.
Challenge number 3: Routine? What’s that?
This can drive me up the wall. I’m a former stage manager, remember. So when my life goes from knowing my schedule 6 months to a year in advance and limited time off to a wide open schedule I get a little flustered.
We have no set schedule. Every day we wake up, look out the window and depending on the weather and how we feel we decide what we want to do that day. This can drive me crazy when I am trying to maintain a workout routine, or want to take a class or schedule an appointment. I find this WAY easier in Hawaii where I easily wake up at 5:30 or 6am for a sunrise bike ride followed by some yoga only to bring Chris some tea at 7:30 while he is waking up. Queenstown, not so much – WAY too cold for me at 6am!
Life is short and we want to take 100% advantage of every day (especially the nice days) that we have.
Challenge number 4: House envy
Ok – so this is a bit of a joke, but it seems like every house we visit we get a bit of house envy. In Queenstown we live in a $500 house shack
with a million dollar view, at least that is what it feels like. We don’t have nice things because we don’t feel we need them, so to visit with people who just bought a real house that has a REAL kitchen I get a bit envious. That being said – I don’t think either of us WANT to buy a house and deal with the costs and work associated with it.
Challenge number 5: What do you do?
This one is all mine as Chris has his business but I do struggle with the “what do you do” question. I’m really lucky to have this life, but I do want to contribute to society and have something to show for my time here. I do have my Beachbody Coaching which I do part time, sometimes TOO part time. I want something to be proud of and excited about, it’s not always easy with such a mobile life style.
So there you have it… hope that wasn’t too whiny.
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about 1 year ago
Challenge #1: Love and companionship, is why we go to work in the first place. What is more fulfilling than that? Relax and enjoy it. Chris is sharing his money, because you are sharing your time. Having a sexy, fun adventure buddy that you love more than life is worth whatever money you happen to find/earn/steal. Trust me, being you IS “enough”.
Challange #2: This is the sacrifice for being a consummate traveler (See #1 for lifestyle). You sacrifice the constant comfort (sometimes paralyzing comfort) of close, consistent friends. Traveling the world (and I know, Im living in Santiago, Chile… with a Danish girlfriend) is what MANY people desire, but are not willing to sacrifice for. You trade ‘comfort’ for ‘adventure’…. and when you get there, the definition of ‘comfortable’ has changed. Reflecting on your old life to compare it to your current life is pointless. You are today, not the same person as you were before… and your friends (as you remember them) have also evolved during your absence. The past always seems to be more safe, and stable in your memories, because hey, “here I am. I made it. It all ended up ok.” but at the time, you didnt have a crystal ball to know what was around the next turn! There were ALWAYS risks, and unknowns holding you back. Embrace your new definition of ‘comfort’ and know that who you are today, will continue to make very close friends, very far away.
Look at me for example.
Challange #3:
“You make plans, and God laughs.”
If you knew what was around the next corner, life would be NO FUN AT ALL.
The Taoist teachings of “Wu Wei” basically say, “Get out of your own way.” or “Dance to the rhythm of life, you dont get to set the beat.”
Having a routine can be nice, but then again, it can feel so… ‘routine’! Finding the balance is better than pushing for structure.
Hell, I WISH I could structure, some unstructured time into my day… but its rarely possible…. because of my ‘routine’… I have no freedom of choice, and without my freedom of choice, I am just another cog in the wheel.
Challange #4:
Houses are for people with kids.
Until you and Chris decide to settle down and stop ‘practicing’ making babies, forget about ‘gorgeous houses’… You may have house envy, but they have LIFE envy. Yeah, sure… they have a sweet kitchen… but it stopped them from seeing a sunrise over the ocean… which is worth more? In 20 years, when they are tired of that kitchen, and they want to remodel it because THEY have kitchen envy… they will again prevent themselves from experiences of a lifetime… and so it goes… Constantly getting in their own way.
What you have is better than a sweet kitchen. You have a life worth living.
Drink it in. You HAVE earned it. You have been gravitating in this direction for your entire adult life, and you have risked everything (including your sweet kitchen), to take your own life into your hands.
For many this is not an option. For those with the option, most are too afraid to take it. For those who do take it, some fail. For those that dont fail…. you win a life worth living.
Getting out of the ‘ratrace’ wheel of life is an opportunity of a lifetime… soak it up. Order, organization, close friends, and nice kitchens will always be available to you…. in the future.
Challange #5:
TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHER. Because you are SO blessed with this life, you should be TAKING PHOTOS to record and document the diversity of the environments, cultures, and locations you visit. Not just for you, but for people like me… who is half way out the door… waiting for a girl version of Chris who wants to be my sexy sugar mama with a backpacker mentality…. (You happen to have anyone in mind?! hahaha)
Its funny how sometimes when you have no big problems, the little problems seem to be bigger than they really are… Once you find a hobby/passion you can engage in, all the little things will go back to where they belong… back into the shoebox, under the bed… and you will not only forget the silly moments of kitchen envy weakness… you will laugh at it in the future… as you do now for all the little things that annoyed you in the past… when you were just another rat in the wheel.
You had the guts to take control of your own life, now, every decision is yours (and Chris’), and with that earned freedom, you get to create the future.
Live it up! You’ve earned it.
Let others be jealous of YOU.
You will always have close friends, although not always as ‘physically close’ as you’d prefer.
In fact, instead of NZ… you and Chris could always come to CHILE!!! Wine tours… volcanoes… beaches… SPANISH… ? Its summer here too (were neighbors, really) And as always, my door is open!
Keep showing the world that living a life of love, health, and adventure is what we humans were BUILT to do.
-D-
P.S: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wu_wei
about 1 year ago
Thanks for this my friend
Your words are so smart and I wouldn’t trade my kitchen here for my kitchen I had back in Vegas. The challenges I write about aren’t stopping me from loving the life I have – just little things that are taking some getting used to. I really appreciate all you had to say here. Hope to see you again very soon in this amazing world of ours!